The story of how I escaped my self-limiting reality boxes

Young woman in blue sweatshirt running in the city
Young woman in blue sweatshirt running in the city
Photo by Halfpoint on Shutterstock. Standard License.
  • Best Mile!
  • Best 5k!
  • New VO2Max Detected!

My watch hit me with those surprise notifications after my last morning run. This is the story of how I achieved a breakthrough performance by transforming running from misery into joy.

Why do we love ugly, stifling boxes?

Bandler, Roberti, and Fitzpatrick (2013) talk about models we create of our reality as we learn things. The models, like a map, leave out information that our brains think is unnecessary and will distract us.

Then we build boxes around them just big enough to hold the models because when other people start screwing with them it confuses us and makes us uncomfortable. …


Mob confronting a woman sitting at a table
Mob confronting a woman sitting at a table
Source: @KunkleFredrick on Twitter — video still. Fair use.

De-escalation tips that everyone should know

A mob corners you. Hooligans raise their fists at you, screaming and calling you horrible names. Your subconscious starts acting like a maniac in your head, smashing every button it can find as it tries to get you out of this terrifying situation.

What do you do?

A mob’s motive for engaging you is often to provoke you into making a fool of yourself for attention and clicks. As a family law attorney and a concealed carry license holder, I have had training and experience on how to de-escalate high-conflict situations.

Lately, I’ve seen hoards of videos of unhinged mobs accosting people who handle it badly. As you read this article, you will learn three behaviors that will help save you from these and other high conflict situations. …


Woman stretching
Woman stretching
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Program your smartwatch to “glide” you into a 5-kilometer run

The first time I did Couch to 5K I used a treadmill and an app on my phone. It was essentially a timer app with pre-programmed torture and rest intervals that would get worse and worse until you could finally run 5 kilometers without stopping.

Well, it worked, and eventually I could easily run 5K in about 25 minutes.

That was eight years ago. Unfortunately, over the last couple of years, I let my weight climb and my fitness fall. In July, I finally decided to do something about it. …


Woman smiling while measuring her waist.
Woman smiling while measuring her waist.
Photo by By Pressmaster on Shutterstock. Standard License.

The persuader’s guide to weight loss

Losing weight is a struggle for many people, including myself. Exercise is tedious, you can’t eat what you want, and you feel like you are starving — all the while barely losing weight at all or even gaining. It’s frustrating and miserable because you spend weeks fighting with yourself if you don’t give up sooner.

What if you didn’t have to fight yourself? What if instead of saddling you with cravings and self-doubt your subconscious carried you past the struggles and fears that come with dieting and exercise? Imagine all the power your mind exerts on you to give up and quit is instead unleashed to help you succeed. …


Woman covering face with sweater
Woman covering face with sweater
Photo by JJ Jordan on Unsplash

Does this mean it is over?

If a man says, “I’m not good enough for you,” does it mean he wasn’t interested in you?

Maybe. My fiancé used that line on me once. That is never the issue. It’s the story someone makes up in his head to justify his decision and make it sound like he is some sort of good guy for dumping you.

In my case, I didn’t let her get away with it. I dug down with her to get to the truth, we resolved it, and are happy. I wasn’t looking to solve the problem. …


Set your site’s featured images

House covered in greenery with stone-stepped path.
House covered in greenery with stone-stepped path.
Photo by Adrien Aletti on Unsplash

Curb appeal

Real estate agents understand the importance of “curb appeal.” I have noticed that a lot of writers do not for some reason.

Many people are scrolling past your links. Give them a reason to stop and look by adding featured images.

Imagine that you spend months renovating a home. You install a beautiful new kitchen with brand new appliances, upgrade all of your bathrooms, install flooring, and immaculately decorate it. Then you shove a for sale sign on your overgrown lawn among your dilapidated fence, dirty windows, and tattered siding.

You will spend the next eighteen months watching people speed by your house without stopping. …


Fail your way to success and reach more people with your writing

Man in striped shirt looking at documents tacked to wall.
Man in striped shirt looking at documents tacked to wall.
Photo by Startup Stock Photos from Pexels / CC0

Your cover design has one job, to get your potential readers to pick your book up off of the shelf. A/B Testing is one of the simplest and most valuable tools that you can have in your toolbox to answer critical marketing questions like, “Which book cover will my readers pick up more often.” How much time, effort, and energy you spend on it will depend on the cost and the impact the item you are testing will have on your bottom line.

You could run a Twitter poll to find out which cover your followers like, but do your followers make up an accurate cross section of your readers? …


Learn from it to optimize your own for lead generation

Woman sitting in front of laptop.
Woman sitting in front of laptop.
Photo by Campaign Creators on Unsplash

After utilizing many marketing workshops, guides, books, and consultants with limited success, I saw JerryJenkins.com today and everything clicked. There are so many sites and designers on the web that follow a typical web-design/technology paradigm. However, they don’t always maximize the human behavior and psychological factors that can deliver the best results.

As a business owner, if I were hiring a marketing specialist right now, the interview would consist mostly of asking the candidate to tell me about the JerryJenkins website(last visited March 28, 2020).

I am not a customer or affiliate of Jerry Jenkins, nor have I read any of his books. I’m sure they are great. Stock photos are used here under license. Other copyrighted images, trademarks, and text belong to their owners and are included here for education and commentary under fair use.


How Internet marketing companies dazzle you with numbers to make a sale

Artist’s rendition of a tornado destroying a structure.
Artist’s rendition of a tornado destroying a structure.
Photo by NOAA on Unsplash

The funnel scam is an enticing sales tactic that I and many others have fallen for. It’s a numbers game. It goes something like this:

  • Imagine that 50,000 people see a link to your site in a search every month. That’s not too many, right? We have customers with ten times that in a week! But we don’t want to over-promise, so we’re starting small.
  • Now, just imagine that only 10% of those people click on the link to your site. That’s 5,000 people! We don’t want to be greedy though, so let’s just say we get 3,000.
  • If only 1% — that’s one out of every hundred — of the people who visit your site buys your product, then that would be 30 new purchases per month. At $10 profit for each item sold, that comes to $300 per month in new revenue! …


Midsection of Woman Making Heart Shape With Hands.
Midsection of Woman Making Heart Shape With Hands.
Photo by Pixabay from Pexels CC0

Divorce is worse than cancer.

I would never wish the experience of losing a wife and then becoming a divorce attorney on anyone. However, I wish there were a way to give everyone the mental frame that comes with it.

“Divorce is worse than cancer” doesn’t mean divorce is always the worst choice. There are absolutely things you do not want to live with such as a violent or cheating spouse. Sometimes it wasn’t your decision at all. Those things are outside the scope of this article.

People we hate are “liars” while people we like “misspeak”.

We all see the world and each other through a veil of lies. We have imperfect information so we extrapolate more based on our experiences and beliefs. Emotions make that veil thicker. …

About

Preston Park, J.D.

Attorney. Author of Train Your Iguana — Think Past the Emotional Barriers to Success in Family Law. https://twitter.com/pjparkjd

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